Tips for traveling with a toddler and an infant: Part One

From the title of this post you are probably thinking one of two things, "oh my gosh that's crazy talk" or "finally, some advice on how to do this." I am hoping that it's the latter because I want you to know it is possible and not all that bad. In the past three years I've taken a baby camping, on a 8 hour road trip, taken 4 international flights and 4 national flights. So I've got some experience by land and by air.

This little travel tip series will cover planning and getting there, road trips and plane or train travel, what to do while you are there, tips for cloth diapering while traveling, what to bring and what to eat, and adventurous travel like camping and snowy getaways. Part one covers planning and getting there. So let's get to it!

When planning a trip with children, the first thing to think about is planning the trip for them and not for you. With an infant and a toddler, going to the art museum in the morning, then a late lunch at some funky restaurant followed by a tour of a local monument, happy hour and then a late dinner where you sit in some kind of awesome bubble listening to Esquivel and drinking tempranillo from Argentina, sounds like a lot of fun, but a toddler or infant that's the worst day ever (for them and for you). My first tip is to slow everything down. Work in early morning activities, then early lunch, followed by nap time. Then hit up happy hour dinner and get the little ones to bed on time. You'll also want to alternate really full active days with calmer ones. That way there is a balance and everyone has time to recover.

When figuring out where to stay think about a place that will be comfortable for you to be up at night. You may have some time after putting the little ones to bed and before you crash, and leaving the room is probably out of the question, so plan something that's not loud; we found that a tablet works best because it can be used for reading, movies, or games (like board games without any mess that you can put away in an instant when the baby needs to eat, and resume later!), plus hitting the Internet to plan the following day.

If you are co-sleepers and can sleep with you toddler and infant, make sure to get a king size bed that way you have room for four. If you can't sleep with your toddler, like us, because they flip and flop too much or don't sleep well, then consider bringing a pack-n-play if you are driving, or have the place you are sleeping at provide a roll-a-way bed or crib and place that near your bed.

Getting to your destination is a huge part part of the trip and one that moms and dads dread the most. Do you drive or fly there? What about a train or a bus? For this post I will focus on car or plane travel as that's the most popular method of travel in the US. We also theorized an RV would be fun, but we never tried.

Let's start with plane travel. Flying with an infant and toddler sounds like crazy talk; it is a little hectic but it can also be easy and fun. First, try to plan your flights around nap times if possible. That way your toddler and/or infant can try to nap or at least have quiet time and feel refreshed when they arrive.

If you just have a infant, take advantage of airline rules and don't get them a ticket (you can just show up with them at the ticketing counter, but make sure to bring some id like a copy of their birth certificate). You'll be holding your infant 90% of the time anyway, so no need for a seat for them. Toddlers (usually two and over) require their own seat; try to get at least one window seat that they can have for entertainment if they want.

As for the decision to bring a car seat on the plane or not, I wouldn't recommend it. It's heavy and cumbersome, and if you are taking a really long flight like over 8 hours it won't be good for your child's spine. If your toddler is anything like mine the car seat is her worst enemy, and they'll soon get tired of it anyway. Just check the thing and be done with it.

OK so you got your seats, but what about the infant? That's where the greatest invention on earth comes in: the baby carrier. I highly recommend a back pack style carrier like the Boba, Ergo or Beco. They are really easy to take on and off and you might have to do that a lot. I also like the soft wrap carriers like the Boba Wrap or Moby.  But the wraps are harder to take on and off and to adjust. though they are nice for really long flight as you can use them as a blanket or pillow for you little one.  But if you are lucky your infant will sleep the whole flight snug and warm in the carrier. Both my kids do! The wrap also allows you to ditch the stroller; you have enough suitcases as it is, the stroller will only slow you down and it's something else to keep an eye on. Just check it and carry those kiddos; you'll be glad you did!

Allow yourself ample time to get through the airport. I try to be past security and at my gate an hour before boarding time. That may seem like a lot but it gives you time to relax a crazed toddler if you had a hard time with security (it can get scary); as well time for snacks and potty breaks; remember that you may be strapped in into that seat for quite a while until the light goes off in the air. And don't forget breast or bottle feeding and diaper changes for the infant. When it comes time to board the plane do take advantage of family boarding, and try to get a bulkhead seat (the front row of each section of the plane), as it will give you more room to move around, although you'll have to stow all your things in the overhead compartment. I especially recommend the bulkhead seats for long haul flight overseas as they usually have a bassinet seat for infants. It is basically a drop down tray table to which they attach an infant seat.

Don't forget food, distractions and clothing. As parents you really already know this stuff. Bring lots of healthy, filling snacks that won't go bad. For example whole grain crackers, popcorn, nuts and dried fruit for older toddlers. Leave the sugary treats behind. A sugar crazed kid is the last thing you want to deal with! I recommend bringing fruit instead, like bananas or apples. Dates are a fun treat as they are really sweet, so one goes a long way.  Make sure to bring water for you toddler (and for mom if breastfeeding!); I just buy a bottle or two after I go through security, that being the only viable option nowadays. As for distractions, don't bring everything and the kitchen sink. Pick a few favorite books, one or two new ones they haven't seen, some crayons and paper, and a toy or two. Bring a change of clothes for you little ones in case they get dirty. If you arrive at your destination at night I recommend bringing pajamas as well so you can already have your little ones ready to go to bed. Remember to bring a wet bag or a plastic bag for cloth diapers or dirty clothes. I'll cover travel with cloth diapers in another post. And of course bring yourself a change of clothes as well, just in case horrible spills, spit up or full-on vomit happens. Last thing you want is stinky vomit all over your shirt on a 14 hour flight from London to Phoenix.

Let's move on to driving. If you are driving to your destination make sure to plan your drive with lots of stopping and stretching. Again, you'll want to make sure you bring plenty of snacks, water and if you are potty training, a little potty. Oh yes, and shade for your toddlers window. The last thing you want to hear for 5 hours is "no sun no sun no sun!"; my husband stretches a beach towel like a canopy over the back seat, which my toddler loves as it becomes a "game" of being in a tent.

I try to plan my day so that we leave early when my toddler is has the most energy and is happy. If it is an all-day trip I make sure to stop mid-morning for a stretch and potty break or diaper change and some play time. Let the toddler run around at the rest stop and get some energy out. Then keep on and stop for lunch at their regular lunch time if possible. This is where I find bringing a cooler with lunch already made really handy (travelling in the Southwest there could be hours between restaurants, and then you may only get one unsavory choice). Then you only need to find a shady spot to stop. Make sure to take another short break for stretching and play before you arrive at your destination. I try to make it there a little before dinner time. That way we can keep meal time and bedtime routine on the same schedule.

The basic idea to make travel easy is to keep the toddler/infant schedules as close to normal as possible. That way they have a something solid to hold on too. Toddlers need to know what's going on next so they don't feel overwhelmed. Especially since everything around them will be new and strange.

Next up: What to do, what to bring and what to eat.