Being an only child, I have wondered my whole life what's it like to have a sibling. I have some very close friends who I consider family, but I didn't find them until I was an adult. What is it like to grow up with someone? To have them by your side everyday. To love you and annoy you all in the same moment.
I knew before S was born that I always wanted to have two kids. So when V was born I don't know exactly what I expected of S; I guess I assumed that being a sister would come naturally; but that wasn't the case. In the beginning there were a lot of tears and big emotions. We were vigilant through the rejection phase and tried to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Slowly with each day it got better and better, then suddenly a few days ago they became sisters. I had seen glimpses of this happing before with a little smile here, a look there, a few giggles. One moment they were playing nicely, the next there was a flash of anger and then hysterical giggling again. I thought to myself: what the heck?
But then I understood, they are now on a team together. One that I am not on. For a moment I felt left out, like the kid that got picked last for the PE team. I realized that we've come through to other side and I've done something to right to help S transition from only to sibling. I felt a lump of pride and joy mixed with sadness rise in my throat as I realized she now has what I always wanted my whole life.
It would seem to me that being a sibling means someone to share your popsicle with, splash in the bath tub with, giggle hysterically at funny faces with, sing twinkle twinkle little star for the hundredth time with, give a kiss to when they get hurt. It's a dynamic like any other relationship of give and take. It would seem that you learn way more about real life from your siblings then you ever will from your parents. V is already learning from S good and bad behaviors and how to stand up for herself as well as get what she wants! I so look forward to watching this sisterhood unfold.
Do you have a sister or a brother? It does having a sibling mean to you?
I come from a big family and while I am friends with my siblings today, we are not the "attached at the hip" types at all. My 2 older boys are best of friends though, and through them I am gaining an understanding of what a special relationship the sibling thing can be. Like your girls, it didn't necessarily start out that way, but boy, now it's tough to separate them! And early this year we added a 3rd boy to the mix, and wow, what a special little gift he is to our family! I had no idea that he would be such a wonderful addition, and that my big boys would love him so unconditionally...it's really a special experience to witness. So happy knowing they will have each other forever...
ReplyDeleteI have a younger brother, we are 22 months apart. I wouldn't say we are super close but if I needed anything he would be there for me, and I for him. Reece and I head over to their place a lot over the summer to swim in the pond and play. My brother has three kids and I want Reece to know his cousins, since it is unlikely he will have any brothers or sisters.
ReplyDeleteI am really close to my three siblings and couldn't imagine a family without many littles (or at least more than one). I fought a TON with my siblings when we were growing up, but my little sister in particular was also my best friend. Today they are all three the people I go to for everything, even though we live each in our own opposite corner of the country. My husband is an only child and didn't really get why I thought there was a difference, but there definitely is. He had some really rough times as a kid and had to get through it all alone. Even in adulthood, when his father died, there was no one else to share the emotional as well the physical burden. Now, like you, I am watching my boys growing into great friends. Yesterday, for the first time, they went outside together without me and my big guy pushed my little one on the swing. Today, they spent all of lunch singing nonsense-word songs together and dancing in their chairs. It is so, so perfectly wonderful to watch!
ReplyDeletei have two younger brothers and i can't remember childhood without recalling them in any of the moments. we were all very close growing up and i feel blessed to have that experience! my parents split up in my mid twenties and our family has been through a lot since- i am so grateful to have my brothers during these tough times as my husband has a hard time relating to it (his parents are very happily married even after 40+ years). right now with my own boys i am trying to navigate through what feels like constant bickering between them, but the the moments of them playing together happily seem to be growing. i have to constantly remind myself that their toddler bickering is not an indicator of the future :)
ReplyDeleteThank you all for sharing your beautiful stories. I can see that being a sibling is really wide and deep relationship. It great to read about all these different experiences. it gives me a better understanding of what to look forward to in the future.
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